My New Letter Series: Dear Indian Population, Have You Ever Wondered What Is Discussed (Part-2)

The previous 1st part of the article can be accessed here Part 1. This is the second part

Dear Indian Population,

In the Indo-Pak PM meetings that would have never taken place, except for the meetings between “My Friend, Zulfi” and Mrs Gandhi? We know what was discussed there (Simla Agreement). We also know what the immediate aftermath was when PMOI Vajpayee met with PMOP Nawaz Sharif (Kargil war). Likewise when PMOI Modi visited PMOP Nawaz Sharif’s house (Pulwama). But, apart from these three meetings, I am not aware of any other such meetings.

Let’s imagine a situation where the current PMs of the two countries are scheduled to face each other (No, there’s no wrestling match nor is there a boxing match). The occasion is an imaginary Environmental Summit where leaders from around the world are invited. Let’s put the location as New Delhi (hey, what’s there to see in Islamabad, apart from Immy’s house in Bani Gala; never mind the environmental issues within the city itself)!! I say imaginary since the environment itself has NOT improved (for whatever reasons) but we do meet to talk about it!! Yep, Hope Springs Eternal!!

The various people addressing this VERY IMPORTANT ISSUE speak long, and passionately, about the various environmental issues that exist in their parts of the world. Then, we have the star of the show (the Pakistani PM):

PMOP: AAK (a-salaam alai kum). The environment is a very important part of our neighborhood (not sure what he meant but well, movin’ on). We have major issues with the environment that is being created in our neighborhood!! While the world speaks about issues with the environment, it has ignored OUR neighborhood where, every day, the environment is very tense!! Tensions create a very dangerous environment for people living in that neighborhood! Consider(at this point, a military attaché from his team taps him on his shoulder and whispers something which leaves him perturbed and speechless)..”

He walks off the stage to be replaced by someone who claims to be the new PM of the IRP (Pakistan..you figure out what the IR stands for).

New PMOP: Please disregard what was said earlier by our outgoing PM. I am the new PM We would like to state that Kashmir is the root cause of ALL environmental problems, be it in America (we have to assume he was talking about the USA), Europe, or Asia!! We really need the UN to step in and ensure the UN resolutions are implemented. (Someone whispers something into his ears at which point, he is perturbed and can be heard clearly saying “Are you sure?”. The person shows him his phone and the new PM reads and his face turns a different type of purple). After a drink of water, “ but since the UN Security Council is busy with more pressing and urgent issues with the disastrous situation with the gutters in the Brooklyn areas, we request the P5 to make a new committee to oversee (at which point the military attache taps him on his shoulder and whispers something. The new PM’s shoulders drop and without saying anything, he walks away, wiping a tear).

A new person walks onto the stage. Meanwhile, the heads of the various governments are now huddled up in a corner of a room, some guffawing loudly while others are watching the proceedings with a look of amusement.

Just when it looks like the meetings need to be adjourned, in walks Bilawal B. Sitting at the head of the table, Bilawal addresses the gathering. Sounding like the mating between a fire engine and a whale, BB welcomes the gathering to the most beautiful capital city in the world, till he is reminded that the meeting is in New Delhi, and immediately gets into the crux of the meeting. “Ladies and gentlemen, the problem with the environment today is nothing new. We, as one, have lived in this tense environment for decades..to be precise, 77 years and counting..” at which point, one of the military attaches tries to whisper something in his ear, only to be told,” let me speak”. He then continues, “Jammu and Kashmir have been the most polluted areas in the world with dead bodies found all over the place.” Again, the attache steps in and BB looks, to the audience, like he has a stiffness in his back. Something is whispered and BB nods his head. He continues, looking very tense “These bodies are those of our friends who were in J&K and were killed by the environmental hazards present there”. He looks at the attache for approval; getting none, he is now tense and his voice rises a few decibels (a menage et trois between an active fire engine, a police siren, and a whale if you will). “India needs to stop killing our friends” and looks again hurriedly at the attache who nods his head. With a look of relief, he continues for another 5 minutes before concluding his speech. He is now escorted off by the attache, who pats him on the back as if saying “Nice job”.

You might be wondering how J&K came into the Environment conference. Believe me, this has happened in conferences around the world where the theme to be discussed was something else but BB decided to change the topic

The WHOLE world is under the misconception about environmental issues; only Pakistan has the CORRECT interpretation of this word. Environmental issues have nothing to do with petrol, air quality, and all the other fun stuff but HAS DEFINITELY GOT TO DO WITH Kashmir and dead people there! And THIS misconception, my friends, IS WHY OUR ENVIRONMENT STILL SAYS unlivable!! We care more about the living people and animals and less about Kashmir!!

Note:
1. Text in Blue points to additional data on the topic.
2. The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of PGurus.

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